~Kira-Karix-chan

Shiz... I had a really jacked up dream where I was this princess that went to Hogwarts, but the teachers there were EVIL. They would force us to eat over-ripe gummy worms and Draco was all like, "You can't make me eat THAT!" but the teacher stuck him in the dungeon for disobeying and I was like, Ohnoes, I don't want to eat them either! One was oozing some sort of gunk... -shivers- And then they told me that if I ate them I could leave. Of course, I hated school more than I feared death-by-gummies, so I ate them. And they didn't actually taste all that bad. Buncha pansy wizards...
Then I went home to my village to find this weird ass witch sitting on a bench in the park in front of my house. She told me that if I could steal her broom (which she was holding by the way) something special would happen. Rule number one: You don't EVER say that to me, cuz then I WILL steal it. I get bored with real life very easily. So I pretty much jacked the broom and flew off with it while miss witch was screaming her head off cuz she didn't think I could do it. So I turn around to see that the lady had turned into a freaking tree with pink leaves that kept growing and growing... I panicked. And let me tell you, even in my dreams I can't fly a broom right. Friggin branches kept poppin outta nowhere and I would almost run into them. Then I saw this leaf covered lady hoppin like a squirrel from branch to branch, trying to get away from the tree-witch too. When we finally got far enough away the leaf covered lady was clinging to a non-witch tree and was telling me that our only chance to save the village was for me to find the golden nugget at the bottom of the lake. And she hopped away... Bitch. Get the nugget YOUR OWN DAMN SELF!!!
Not wanting the village to be totally destroyed when I got back, I got the friggin nugget (don't bother asking how. I don't even know) and was floatin at the surface when my supposedly dead grandmother's ghost was suddenly floatin there with me. She told me that the nugget I was holding was a shelf of my former self or some crazy shit like that and that's how I was originally born. A gold nugget. Nice. And I asked her how this was supposed to save the village and she didn't know either, but then she told me that there was a chosen one I had to find before the tree-witch got any bigger. I asked who it was I had to find and she replied with...
"Shrek."
And the phone rang. And I woke up.